Chapter 1 - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Q: What is one example of "small stuff" that you let get to you recently?
A: To put it shortly, one small thing that has bothered me for a while has been my internet. It has always been super slow compared to my friends, but I have began to notice it more as the virtual school year has begun. I've constantly been getting kicked out of zoom meetings and not being able to do assignments fast enough because of internet issues, so I've been very frustrated. However, as this is something I can not control, I need to just let it go and make the most of it.
A: To put it shortly, one small thing that has bothered me for a while has been my internet. It has always been super slow compared to my friends, but I have began to notice it more as the virtual school year has begun. I've constantly been getting kicked out of zoom meetings and not being able to do assignments fast enough because of internet issues, so I've been very frustrated. However, as this is something I can not control, I need to just let it go and make the most of it.
Chapter 2 - Make Peace with Imperfection
Q: How does your "ego: distract you?
I.e. judgement, fear, anxiety, depression, comparison, hatred, anger and more...
A: My "ego," or impression of myself, mainly distracts me by limiting my desire to want to go take part in new experiences. Although I feel good about my abilities in terms of academics and sports, I feel I lack confidence in other areas of myself, mainly in social interactions. It is difficult for me to grow new connections or take commanding leadership roles because I have low self-esteem in those areas, and even though I have done those things before, I still want to work to improve them.
I.e. judgement, fear, anxiety, depression, comparison, hatred, anger and more...
A: My "ego," or impression of myself, mainly distracts me by limiting my desire to want to go take part in new experiences. Although I feel good about my abilities in terms of academics and sports, I feel I lack confidence in other areas of myself, mainly in social interactions. It is difficult for me to grow new connections or take commanding leadership roles because I have low self-esteem in those areas, and even though I have done those things before, I still want to work to improve them.
Chapter 3 - Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can't be Superachievers.
Thoughts:
"When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
Response: This quote essentially calls me out for being so hyperactive all of the time. I always have to be doing something or I have to be busy in some way; if I'm relaxed, I'm being lazy. Having this mindset has caused my stress levels to accumulate over the years. I feel like I've been pretty focused on my goals and aspirations, but it has sort of taken over my life. My own happiness should be my biggest concern, but it hasn't been. In order for me to feel fully happy and still achieve my goals, I need to establish inner peace with myself.
"When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires and concerns. It's thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others."
Response: This quote essentially calls me out for being so hyperactive all of the time. I always have to be doing something or I have to be busy in some way; if I'm relaxed, I'm being lazy. Having this mindset has caused my stress levels to accumulate over the years. I feel like I've been pretty focused on my goals and aspirations, but it has sort of taken over my life. My own happiness should be my biggest concern, but it hasn't been. In order for me to feel fully happy and still achieve my goals, I need to establish inner peace with myself.
Chapter 4 - Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking
Q: Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control?
A: When I’m thinking out of control, it is hard to tell how my mind and body are feeling. This is because my thoughts are so jumbled and complex that I can’t really focus on anything. This usually happens whenever I’m overly stressed about something, whether it be an upcoming speech, lots of homework, or other outside issues. Whenever I let this get to my head, it happens at the expense of my mental and physical well-being, so I need to lower my stress levels certainly.
A: When I’m thinking out of control, it is hard to tell how my mind and body are feeling. This is because my thoughts are so jumbled and complex that I can’t really focus on anything. This usually happens whenever I’m overly stressed about something, whether it be an upcoming speech, lots of homework, or other outside issues. Whenever I let this get to my head, it happens at the expense of my mental and physical well-being, so I need to lower my stress levels certainly.
Chapter 5 - Develop Your Compassion
Q: Can you recall a time when you made something “big” and dramatic when in reality it was “small” and not that big of a deal?
A: A time when I made something “big” and dramatic was before my AP Human Geography exam my freshman year. I was super stressed out about the test, and I wanted so badly to get 5. I did end up getting that score, and the test was a lot easier than I had initially made it out to be. I had so much anxiety and stress before the test, when I should have been more relaxed and calm about it. Being able to not be overly dramatic about everything would greatly improve my mental health in the long run.
A: A time when I made something “big” and dramatic was before my AP Human Geography exam my freshman year. I was super stressed out about the test, and I wanted so badly to get 5. I did end up getting that score, and the test was a lot easier than I had initially made it out to be. I had so much anxiety and stress before the test, when I should have been more relaxed and calm about it. Being able to not be overly dramatic about everything would greatly improve my mental health in the long run.
Chapter 6 - Remind Yourself that When You Die, Your “In Basket” Won’t be Empty
Q: What does your “in basket” look like? And will it be there tomorrow…
A: My “in basket” consists of many things: homework, chores around the house, exercising, preparing for the SAT, etc. These are types of things that will stay with me for a while, as I’ll have homework for many more years, which will eventually turn into real work at a job, and I’ll always have chores around the house. Sometimes I feel like I’m putting too much work onto myself, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve balanced work and fun pretty well. I’m not always stressed out, but there are those moments where I feel defeated and suffocated by my work load.
A: My “in basket” consists of many things: homework, chores around the house, exercising, preparing for the SAT, etc. These are types of things that will stay with me for a while, as I’ll have homework for many more years, which will eventually turn into real work at a job, and I’ll always have chores around the house. Sometimes I feel like I’m putting too much work onto myself, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve balanced work and fun pretty well. I’m not always stressed out, but there are those moments where I feel defeated and suffocated by my work load.
Chapter 7 - Don’t Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentence
Q: Do you believe you are a strong listener or could use some work?
A: I believe that I definitely need to be better at listening. I am a pretty impatient person, so it’s hard for me to pay attention to something for a long period of time, especially if it bores me. However, I need to be better at actively listening to other people. A main issue I have when listening to people is that I go on my phone sometimes when someone is talking to me. I never mean it as a sign of disrespect, but rather it’s a result of me getting easily distracted. I know that doing this makes people not want to talk to me anymore, so I need to work on looking people in the eye and actively listening when they speak.
A: I believe that I definitely need to be better at listening. I am a pretty impatient person, so it’s hard for me to pay attention to something for a long period of time, especially if it bores me. However, I need to be better at actively listening to other people. A main issue I have when listening to people is that I go on my phone sometimes when someone is talking to me. I never mean it as a sign of disrespect, but rather it’s a result of me getting easily distracted. I know that doing this makes people not want to talk to me anymore, so I need to work on looking people in the eye and actively listening when they speak.
Chapter 8 - Do Something Nice for Someone Else - and Don’t Tell ANYONE About It
Q: Recall a time you have given, did you expect acknowledgement?
A: A time where I had given was when I had helped the sophomore class officers extensively with Homecoming, Winter Formal, and Winterfest last year. It wasn’t in my job description to work on these events, but I still did my best to help them out as much as possible. When doing this, I didn’t expect acknowledgement, because I didn’t need it from them. I had actively wanted to work on these events myself, so they didn’t need to praise me for it. They did thank me, however, but I didn’t necessarily need that acknowledgement to feel better about myself. Sometimes, people need to do kind things just for the sake of being kind and helpful, and I feel like that’s what I did when I helped the sophomore officers throughout the year with their events.
A: A time where I had given was when I had helped the sophomore class officers extensively with Homecoming, Winter Formal, and Winterfest last year. It wasn’t in my job description to work on these events, but I still did my best to help them out as much as possible. When doing this, I didn’t expect acknowledgement, because I didn’t need it from them. I had actively wanted to work on these events myself, so they didn’t need to praise me for it. They did thank me, however, but I didn’t necessarily need that acknowledgement to feel better about myself. Sometimes, people need to do kind things just for the sake of being kind and helpful, and I feel like that’s what I did when I helped the sophomore officers throughout the year with their events.
Chapter 9 - Let Others Have the Glory
Q: Have you experienced someone else 'stomping' on your story (glory)? How did it make you feel?
A: I have experienced someone "stomping" on my glory. This happened when I told my friends about how upset I was about getting injured at the Track League Finals my freshmen year. Essentially, I sprained my ankle as I crossed the finish line in one of my races, and even though I qualified for the Sections Meet the week after, I would be unable to run because of my injury. This really sucked for me because I felt like I was capable of doing well in Sections, but I never got the opportunity to prove myself. When I told my friends, they kind of shrugged it off and something unimportant and just went on with their conversations about their own problems. This made me feel unheard and unappreciated, since they didn't seem to care about what had happened to me. Although my injury wasn't something super serious, it still impacted me heavily at that time, so it really hurt to see that nobody seemed to care. It felt like my friends thought that their own problems were more important than mine, which didn't make me feel good at all.
A: I have experienced someone "stomping" on my glory. This happened when I told my friends about how upset I was about getting injured at the Track League Finals my freshmen year. Essentially, I sprained my ankle as I crossed the finish line in one of my races, and even though I qualified for the Sections Meet the week after, I would be unable to run because of my injury. This really sucked for me because I felt like I was capable of doing well in Sections, but I never got the opportunity to prove myself. When I told my friends, they kind of shrugged it off and something unimportant and just went on with their conversations about their own problems. This made me feel unheard and unappreciated, since they didn't seem to care about what had happened to me. Although my injury wasn't something super serious, it still impacted me heavily at that time, so it really hurt to see that nobody seemed to care. It felt like my friends thought that their own problems were more important than mine, which didn't make me feel good at all.
Chapter 10 - Learn to Live in the Present Moment
Q: What are some ways that you work to stay in the present moment?
A: I work to stay in the present moment by creating daily lists of things that I want to accomplish that day. By doing this, I am able to focus on what is presently happening, rather than worry about something in the future or dwell on something in the past. I also stay in the present moment by trying my best to let go of things from the past. Even though I embarrass easily, I still try to ignore situations or events that I couldn't get out of my head because they were so embarrassing for me. Lastly, I stay in the present by not worrying about what the future holds for me. Even though it is good to have an idea for what I want to do for a living, I also need to realize that I shouldn't be expected to know everything at this young of an age. While I'm still young, I should focus on having fun and making the most of my teenage years.
A: I work to stay in the present moment by creating daily lists of things that I want to accomplish that day. By doing this, I am able to focus on what is presently happening, rather than worry about something in the future or dwell on something in the past. I also stay in the present moment by trying my best to let go of things from the past. Even though I embarrass easily, I still try to ignore situations or events that I couldn't get out of my head because they were so embarrassing for me. Lastly, I stay in the present by not worrying about what the future holds for me. Even though it is good to have an idea for what I want to do for a living, I also need to realize that I shouldn't be expected to know everything at this young of an age. While I'm still young, I should focus on having fun and making the most of my teenage years.
Chapter 11 - Imagine that Everyone Is Enlightened Except You
Q: Think of a time when you were frustrated, now look at is as a moment of being taught...what did you learn?
A: A moment where I was frustrated was when I was trying to help one of my friends study for a math test, but he was having a hard time learning the math. Since I am a very impatient person, I got annoyed with him for not understanding what I was telling him fast enough. However, I should look at this situation as a teaching moment instead. Looking at it that way, I can say that moment of frustration taught me about the value of patience. Not everyone learns at the same pace, or has the same exact abilities and skills. Because of this, I need to be more patient with my friends, and myself as well. By doing this, everyone would be more successful and happy, in many different ways. If I was more patient with my friend, it would have made it easier for him to understand the concepts I was trying to teach him, because I wouldn't have put him under pressure because of my annoyance. Being patient is a crucial ability that is important in all aspects of life, which is why I want to be better at it.
A: A moment where I was frustrated was when I was trying to help one of my friends study for a math test, but he was having a hard time learning the math. Since I am a very impatient person, I got annoyed with him for not understanding what I was telling him fast enough. However, I should look at this situation as a teaching moment instead. Looking at it that way, I can say that moment of frustration taught me about the value of patience. Not everyone learns at the same pace, or has the same exact abilities and skills. Because of this, I need to be more patient with my friends, and myself as well. By doing this, everyone would be more successful and happy, in many different ways. If I was more patient with my friend, it would have made it easier for him to understand the concepts I was trying to teach him, because I wouldn't have put him under pressure because of my annoyance. Being patient is a crucial ability that is important in all aspects of life, which is why I want to be better at it.
Chapter 12 - Let Others Be "Right" Most of the Time
Challenge: the next time you are in a discussion/argument, let the other person be right and take notice on the initial feeling that transpires
A: I recently got into an argument with my friend over who is the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time) of basketball. I personally think that it’s Michael Jordan, but he thinks that it’s LeBron James. We argued for a few minutes about who was right, mentioning the number of championships they won, their accolades, teammates, legacies, etc. While I still firmly believe that I am right, I knew that continuing to argue would lead us nowhere. So, I simply told him that he was right. At first, he was surprised that I just gave up, but he then said thank you for not trying to berate him for his opinion. I think that letting him be right gave him confidence in himself, and helped us as friends respect each other more, which was definitely a positive.
A: I recently got into an argument with my friend over who is the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time) of basketball. I personally think that it’s Michael Jordan, but he thinks that it’s LeBron James. We argued for a few minutes about who was right, mentioning the number of championships they won, their accolades, teammates, legacies, etc. While I still firmly believe that I am right, I knew that continuing to argue would lead us nowhere. So, I simply told him that he was right. At first, he was surprised that I just gave up, but he then said thank you for not trying to berate him for his opinion. I think that letting him be right gave him confidence in himself, and helped us as friends respect each other more, which was definitely a positive.
Chapter 13 - Become More Patient
Q: Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize you are so very small in this vast world and really your “drama” isn’t that big a deal?
A: I had a reflective moment when I found out in September that my grandma had passed away at the age of 70 years old. This was such a shock to me, mostly because I had no idea of her condition since she kept it a secret. This wasn’t really a moment where I thought that my “drama” was unimportant, but it really made me reflect on the insignificance of so many things in life. We constantly worry about stuff that doesn’t even matter in the long run. Life moves by so fast, and I think that her passing made me realize that I need to do only what makes me happy with the time that I have left. This includes ignoring all of the drama and the unimportant things, and focusing on doing what I love and being with people who truly matter to me, until I am no longer able to do so.
A: I had a reflective moment when I found out in September that my grandma had passed away at the age of 70 years old. This was such a shock to me, mostly because I had no idea of her condition since she kept it a secret. This wasn’t really a moment where I thought that my “drama” was unimportant, but it really made me reflect on the insignificance of so many things in life. We constantly worry about stuff that doesn’t even matter in the long run. Life moves by so fast, and I think that her passing made me realize that I need to do only what makes me happy with the time that I have left. This includes ignoring all of the drama and the unimportant things, and focusing on doing what I love and being with people who truly matter to me, until I am no longer able to do so.
Chapter 14 - Create "Patience Practice Periods"
Q: Do you have a “Mantra,” a statement that you make to yourself daily or weekly?
A: I wouldn’t say that I have one specific Manta that I tell myself every week, but my general attitude towards myself is to simply stay positive. I feel as if I am naturally a pessimistic person, but I want to have a more optimistic outlook on life. In order to do that, I need to be more grateful and appreciative of the simple things every day. This includes being able to spend time with my family and friends every day, and attending a great school with great teachers. Sometimes I would let one bad thing ruin my entire day, while ignoring all of the good that had happened that day. However, life isn’t perfect, and there will always be tough roads ahead of me. In order to push through them and truly be happy in life, I need to focus on the positives and make the most of what I love in life, such as sports, school, and spending time with the people that I love.
A: I wouldn’t say that I have one specific Manta that I tell myself every week, but my general attitude towards myself is to simply stay positive. I feel as if I am naturally a pessimistic person, but I want to have a more optimistic outlook on life. In order to do that, I need to be more grateful and appreciative of the simple things every day. This includes being able to spend time with my family and friends every day, and attending a great school with great teachers. Sometimes I would let one bad thing ruin my entire day, while ignoring all of the good that had happened that day. However, life isn’t perfect, and there will always be tough roads ahead of me. In order to push through them and truly be happy in life, I need to focus on the positives and make the most of what I love in life, such as sports, school, and spending time with the people that I love.
Chapter 15 - Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out
Q: Have you lost a relationship because something "small" created a "big" divide?
A: I have never lost a relationship because of something small and minuscule, but rather I have lost relationships due to us simply drifting apart after a while. For myself, I never try to pick fights with anyone or get into conflicts, because I just think that it is unnecessary in the long run of life. However, I have drifted apart from some of my former friends in elementary school, which is totally okay. It’s impossible to stay best friends with everyone, but I still try to maintain good and stable relationships with those around me. The relationships most important to me include my family members (of course) and some of my close friends today. I know that it is possible that I may lose that connection with my friends in the future, but I know for certain that it won’t be over something small if it ends up happening.
A: I have never lost a relationship because of something small and minuscule, but rather I have lost relationships due to us simply drifting apart after a while. For myself, I never try to pick fights with anyone or get into conflicts, because I just think that it is unnecessary in the long run of life. However, I have drifted apart from some of my former friends in elementary school, which is totally okay. It’s impossible to stay best friends with everyone, but I still try to maintain good and stable relationships with those around me. The relationships most important to me include my family members (of course) and some of my close friends today. I know that it is possible that I may lose that connection with my friends in the future, but I know for certain that it won’t be over something small if it ends up happening.
Chapter 16 - Ask Yourself the Question, "Will This Matter a Year from Now?"
Q: What do you hope to do a year from now?
A: A year from now, I hope to be back in real school instead of being on distance learning still. That is probably my biggest desire for the world to accomplish, but in terms of myself personally, I hope to be preparing myself for the future that is further ahead of me than just one year. By this time next year, I will be a senior about to finish my first semester of my last year at Ripon High. I hope to be doing well in my classes, and to be filling out college applications to some of my dream colleges. Recently, I’ve been looking to go out-of-state, and Vanderbilt and Duke have been the two colleges that have interested me the most. I hope that a year from now, I will have finished my applications for these colleges (along with many others) and I will be expecting results soon from them. However, even though I’ll be getting ready for my future, I still hope that I will live in the present moment and enjoy life with the people that I love. Even though college is near, I’m still a high schooler, and this time is meant to simply have fun.
A: A year from now, I hope to be back in real school instead of being on distance learning still. That is probably my biggest desire for the world to accomplish, but in terms of myself personally, I hope to be preparing myself for the future that is further ahead of me than just one year. By this time next year, I will be a senior about to finish my first semester of my last year at Ripon High. I hope to be doing well in my classes, and to be filling out college applications to some of my dream colleges. Recently, I’ve been looking to go out-of-state, and Vanderbilt and Duke have been the two colleges that have interested me the most. I hope that a year from now, I will have finished my applications for these colleges (along with many others) and I will be expecting results soon from them. However, even though I’ll be getting ready for my future, I still hope that I will live in the present moment and enjoy life with the people that I love. Even though college is near, I’m still a high schooler, and this time is meant to simply have fun.
Chapter 17 - Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn't Fair
Q: Is life meant to be fair? What does that even mean?
A: I don’t think that life is meant to be fair to us. To describe what it means for life to be “fair,” I would say that it means having everything going our way and everything handed to us. If this is the case, then I 100% believe that life isn’t meant to be fair. If absolutely everything about everyone is perfect and goes their desired way, then there's no room for growth, development, motivation, and hard work. Without these key aspects of life, people won’t truly live up to their fullest potential. Also, take this hypothetical example: two people are fighting for a promotion at their job, and there is only one spot available. They both are losing money, and need the promotion to put food on the table for their families. If life was fair for everyone, what would happen in this situation? They can’t both get the job, and either way, one of them would suffer immensely. However, the one who doesn’t get the promotion has the advantage of going through failure. This failure will allow them to learn from their mistakes and grow into an even better person. Life being unfair is exactly the thing that allows this personal growth to occur. We all strive to be the most successful, the happiest, the best looking, the smartest, the most athletic, etc. But in reality, there is always going to be someone who does something better than you, and people have to live with that fact. However, being “worse” than someone else doesn’t deem immediate failure as a person, it simply means that you will work harder and harder until you find your place in life.
A: I don’t think that life is meant to be fair to us. To describe what it means for life to be “fair,” I would say that it means having everything going our way and everything handed to us. If this is the case, then I 100% believe that life isn’t meant to be fair. If absolutely everything about everyone is perfect and goes their desired way, then there's no room for growth, development, motivation, and hard work. Without these key aspects of life, people won’t truly live up to their fullest potential. Also, take this hypothetical example: two people are fighting for a promotion at their job, and there is only one spot available. They both are losing money, and need the promotion to put food on the table for their families. If life was fair for everyone, what would happen in this situation? They can’t both get the job, and either way, one of them would suffer immensely. However, the one who doesn’t get the promotion has the advantage of going through failure. This failure will allow them to learn from their mistakes and grow into an even better person. Life being unfair is exactly the thing that allows this personal growth to occur. We all strive to be the most successful, the happiest, the best looking, the smartest, the most athletic, etc. But in reality, there is always going to be someone who does something better than you, and people have to live with that fact. However, being “worse” than someone else doesn’t deem immediate failure as a person, it simply means that you will work harder and harder until you find your place in life.
Chapter 18 - Allow Yourself to be Bored
Q: Do you take the time to be bored?
A: I honestly do not spend enough time being bored, because I am always worrying about what I have to get done or what work I have to do. I feel like I get overly stressed way more than I should, which is not good for my mental health. Whenever I try to calm myself and just relax, I always end up overthinking and start worrying about school or chores or other things I have to do. As I move further into my junior year and start focusing more on college and my future, it’s super important for me to not overwhelm myself and set aside time to take a break. Sometimes, doing nothing can be more productive than overworking, because it helps with your mental health. In order to feel happier, I need to find a balance between work and relaxation.
A: I honestly do not spend enough time being bored, because I am always worrying about what I have to get done or what work I have to do. I feel like I get overly stressed way more than I should, which is not good for my mental health. Whenever I try to calm myself and just relax, I always end up overthinking and start worrying about school or chores or other things I have to do. As I move further into my junior year and start focusing more on college and my future, it’s super important for me to not overwhelm myself and set aside time to take a break. Sometimes, doing nothing can be more productive than overworking, because it helps with your mental health. In order to feel happier, I need to find a balance between work and relaxation.
Chapter 19 - Lower Your Tolerance to Stress
Q: Have you been taught to believe high stress is a positive thing?
A: I haven’t been taught to think that having a lot of stress is good, but rather is a trait of hardworking individuals. I believe that high stress is better than no stress at all, because a lack of stress reflects a lazy and indifferent mindset. However, high stress is unhealthy and should not be encouraged. It is a state of mind that comes with being a hard and driven worker, but people can still work hard and know how to manage their stress at the same time. This is what I personally want to accomplish in my life. I know that stress is inevitable, but it can be controlled and lowered through taking time to relax and calm the mind.
A: I haven’t been taught to think that having a lot of stress is good, but rather is a trait of hardworking individuals. I believe that high stress is better than no stress at all, because a lack of stress reflects a lazy and indifferent mindset. However, high stress is unhealthy and should not be encouraged. It is a state of mind that comes with being a hard and driven worker, but people can still work hard and know how to manage their stress at the same time. This is what I personally want to accomplish in my life. I know that stress is inevitable, but it can be controlled and lowered through taking time to relax and calm the mind.
Chapter 20 - Once a Week, Write a Heartfelt Letter
Q: When is the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude?
A: The last time that I sat down and wrote a letter of gratitude to someone was when I wrote a letter to my grandpa after Christmas last year, thanking him for all that he did for my family during the holidays. Although he had to stay in his house to protect himself from the Coronavirus, he still wanted to host a Christmas celebration with my extended family, like he usually does every year. We were able to all come together at his house, although we stayed outside and socially distanced. Going to see my grandpa and him working hard to make our Christmas day special was a positive time in the midst of all the negativity going on in the world. To express my gratitude towards him, I wrote him a letter thanking him for everything. It not only made me feel happier and better about myself, but it ensured that my grandpa knew his work was appreciated.
A: The last time that I sat down and wrote a letter of gratitude to someone was when I wrote a letter to my grandpa after Christmas last year, thanking him for all that he did for my family during the holidays. Although he had to stay in his house to protect himself from the Coronavirus, he still wanted to host a Christmas celebration with my extended family, like he usually does every year. We were able to all come together at his house, although we stayed outside and socially distanced. Going to see my grandpa and him working hard to make our Christmas day special was a positive time in the midst of all the negativity going on in the world. To express my gratitude towards him, I wrote him a letter thanking him for everything. It not only made me feel happier and better about myself, but it ensured that my grandpa knew his work was appreciated.
Chapter 21 - Imagine Yourself at Your Own Funeral
Q: If you could change anything right now about your life, what would it be?
A: If I could change anything about my life, I would change my daily schedule. Looking back on it, I feel like I put too much on my plate in terms of AP classes, extracurriculars, and sports. This sometimes leads to me burning out and losing motivation. I would instead only focus on the things that are actually meaningful and valuable to me, and put more time into those rather than stretch my schedule thin. Senior year hasn’t gotten off to as good of a start that I was hoping, and it would have been better if I had a different daily schedule, which is why that would be something that I would change. It wouldn’t be drastic, but only slight, so that I remove things in my life that don’t serve me.
A: If I could change anything about my life, I would change my daily schedule. Looking back on it, I feel like I put too much on my plate in terms of AP classes, extracurriculars, and sports. This sometimes leads to me burning out and losing motivation. I would instead only focus on the things that are actually meaningful and valuable to me, and put more time into those rather than stretch my schedule thin. Senior year hasn’t gotten off to as good of a start that I was hoping, and it would have been better if I had a different daily schedule, which is why that would be something that I would change. It wouldn’t be drastic, but only slight, so that I remove things in my life that don’t serve me.
Chapter 22 - Repeat to Yourself "Life Isn't an Emergency"
Q: Describe a time or moments in your life when you turn something into an emergency.
A: A time in my life when I turned something into an emergency was when I started running track my freshman year. When I started competing, I expected to improve a lot faster than how long it actually took me, since I had too high of expectations. Because of this, I stressed way too much if I didn’t get a good enough time in a race, or if I didn’t win a medal, so I believed that I wasn’t doing good enough. However, there isn’t a rush to improve. Some things take time, and I shouldn’t beat myself up if I don’t perform exactly how I expected.
A: A time in my life when I turned something into an emergency was when I started running track my freshman year. When I started competing, I expected to improve a lot faster than how long it actually took me, since I had too high of expectations. Because of this, I stressed way too much if I didn’t get a good enough time in a race, or if I didn’t win a medal, so I believed that I wasn’t doing good enough. However, there isn’t a rush to improve. Some things take time, and I shouldn’t beat myself up if I don’t perform exactly how I expected.
Chapter 23 - Experiment with Your Back Burner
Q: Analyze: "It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for"
A: This quote is talking about the use of back burners, and how it allows us to acknowledge problems that we have, but not focus all of our energy on it. In my case, my back burner does not work that well, because I either procrastinate on something or overthink it and let it take over my thoughts. My personality forces me to analyze and worry about everything that I do, which in turn causes me to always be stressed out. The things that I don't worry about as much I end up procrastinating, and although I always end up getting everything done eventually, it takes a big toll on my mental health. In order to be more healthy and overall relaxed, I need to learn to set things aside, but still understand that they exist and are present.
A: This quote is talking about the use of back burners, and how it allows us to acknowledge problems that we have, but not focus all of our energy on it. In my case, my back burner does not work that well, because I either procrastinate on something or overthink it and let it take over my thoughts. My personality forces me to analyze and worry about everything that I do, which in turn causes me to always be stressed out. The things that I don't worry about as much I end up procrastinating, and although I always end up getting everything done eventually, it takes a big toll on my mental health. In order to be more healthy and overall relaxed, I need to learn to set things aside, but still understand that they exist and are present.
Chapter 24 - Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank
Q: Who is one person you would thank in this moment and why? I challenge you to communicate this gratitude with this person.
A: In this moment, I would probably thank my grandpa because he recently hosted our family Thanksgiving, which is a daunting task. My family Thanksgivings are always full of so much food and excitement, so he had to put in a lot of effort to make it happen. This is especially true because he had to do it all alone this year, which made it even more challenging. I am super grateful that my grandpa continues to help create these amazing memories for my family and keeps on being the glue that holds us all together.
A: In this moment, I would probably thank my grandpa because he recently hosted our family Thanksgiving, which is a daunting task. My family Thanksgivings are always full of so much food and excitement, so he had to put in a lot of effort to make it happen. This is especially true because he had to do it all alone this year, which made it even more challenging. I am super grateful that my grandpa continues to help create these amazing memories for my family and keeps on being the glue that holds us all together.
Chapter 25 - Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello
Q: When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact and connect, what are your initial thoughts?
A: My initial thoughts after reading this chapter are that I feel very mixed about the subject. I have had many amazing interactions with strangers that have put me in a better mood, but I have also had a lot of negative interactions that put me down. I am generally an introverted person when it comes to meeting new people, so I don't usually see the value in trying to talk to every new person I meet. I do, however, give credit to this idea for allowing me to meet so many amazing people that are still my friends to this day.
A: My initial thoughts after reading this chapter are that I feel very mixed about the subject. I have had many amazing interactions with strangers that have put me in a better mood, but I have also had a lot of negative interactions that put me down. I am generally an introverted person when it comes to meeting new people, so I don't usually see the value in trying to talk to every new person I meet. I do, however, give credit to this idea for allowing me to meet so many amazing people that are still my friends to this day.
Chapter 26 - Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day
Q: When do you find a quiet moment in your day, every day, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don't...explain.
A: My quiet moment every day is at the end of the day, when I am sitting in my bed about to fall asleep. I will usually try to get ready for bed earlier, so I have time to sit back and reflect on my day and all of the positives and negatives. That is the only moment of my day where I am fully alone in a quiet, calm environment, able to take in the area around me and simply just be. Having this moment in my day is much needed, especially with the large amounts of stress that I have been feeling with my classes, college applications, and basketball.
A: My quiet moment every day is at the end of the day, when I am sitting in my bed about to fall asleep. I will usually try to get ready for bed earlier, so I have time to sit back and reflect on my day and all of the positives and negatives. That is the only moment of my day where I am fully alone in a quiet, calm environment, able to take in the area around me and simply just be. Having this moment in my day is much needed, especially with the large amounts of stress that I have been feeling with my classes, college applications, and basketball.
Chapter 27 - Imagine the People in Your Life as Tiny Infants & as 100 Year Old Adults
Q: Describe a time where you have been frustrated with someone, but you "let-go" of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel?
A: A time where I got frustrated with someone but moved on from it and let my anger go was when my sister came home from college, got the house super dirty, and denied doing it. While this seems like a very trivial reason to be mad at someone, it is something that she constantly does and it interferes with whatever I am doing. However, I knew that it would only make me more mad to yell at her and do nothing about the mess. So, I cleaned up everything and just moved on. It's impossible to control what other people do, and I understood that, which is why I decided to let go of the situation.
A: A time where I got frustrated with someone but moved on from it and let my anger go was when my sister came home from college, got the house super dirty, and denied doing it. While this seems like a very trivial reason to be mad at someone, it is something that she constantly does and it interferes with whatever I am doing. However, I knew that it would only make me more mad to yell at her and do nothing about the mess. So, I cleaned up everything and just moved on. It's impossible to control what other people do, and I understood that, which is why I decided to let go of the situation.
Chapter 28 - Seek First to Understand
Q: Describe a situation where you didn't seek to understand first. Was there resolution with this conflict?
A: A time where I didn’t seek to understand first was when I got mad at a group member during a group project my freshman year. They weren’t doing their work at the level that I wanted, and I ended up getting super frustrated. What I failed to do, however, was to actually see why they weren’t being productive. It ended up that the person was dealing with some situations outside of school that I wasn’t aware of, and I had gotten angry over something that they could not control. This time proves that we never truly know what people are going through outside of the environment that we see them in every day, and we need to understand the possibility of these things so that communication and collaboration can be more effective overall.
A: A time where I didn’t seek to understand first was when I got mad at a group member during a group project my freshman year. They weren’t doing their work at the level that I wanted, and I ended up getting super frustrated. What I failed to do, however, was to actually see why they weren’t being productive. It ended up that the person was dealing with some situations outside of school that I wasn’t aware of, and I had gotten angry over something that they could not control. This time proves that we never truly know what people are going through outside of the environment that we see them in every day, and we need to understand the possibility of these things so that communication and collaboration can be more effective overall.
Chapter 29 - Become a Better Listener
Q: Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you. Describe this relationship.
A: Someone that I can genuinely talk to and know that they will listen is Ashley Dillman, one of my best friends ever since we were in kindergarten. We have been close for almost our entire lives, and even after she moved to Arkansas the summer before my sophomore year, we are still connected and always have fun whenever we see each other. She is super understanding and willing to be a listener, so it gives me the confidence to just talk to her about everything that goes on in my life, even if it is on FaceTime. There are times where I don’t need or want to be criticized or given advice, I just want someone to listen to me. I think that this relationship we have is one of the main reasons why we have stayed friends to this day.
A: Someone that I can genuinely talk to and know that they will listen is Ashley Dillman, one of my best friends ever since we were in kindergarten. We have been close for almost our entire lives, and even after she moved to Arkansas the summer before my sophomore year, we are still connected and always have fun whenever we see each other. She is super understanding and willing to be a listener, so it gives me the confidence to just talk to her about everything that goes on in my life, even if it is on FaceTime. There are times where I don’t need or want to be criticized or given advice, I just want someone to listen to me. I think that this relationship we have is one of the main reasons why we have stayed friends to this day.
Chapter 30 - Choose Your Battles Wisely
Q: Describe a time when you "lost your Shhhh" and in reality it wasn't worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn't sweat the small stuff?
A: A time where I just lost my shit and it wasn’t worth it was definitely during this basketball season. It was during one of our early practices, and we were just not having a great day. Everyone was working hard, but we were turning the ball over, missing easy layups, etc. This was also during our preseason, where we lost most of our games and were struggling to find an identity as a team. I ended up snapping at a couple of my teammates, just out of frustration. However, this was not the right method of expressing my emotions. Our coach always stresses that we need to focus on the process, not the outcome. Practice is for working hard to get better, so we aren’t going to make every shot and do everything perfectly all the time. It’s a time meant for mistakes. After losing my shit, I felt both guilty and angry at myself for doing that, because I had always been one to be supportive towards my teammates. This time though, the combination of my personal stress outside of basketball and our rough start to the season made me snap, and looking back I wish I didn’t. If I didn’t sweat the small stuff and accepted that mistakes happen in practice, I would not have yelled at my teammates.
A: A time where I just lost my shit and it wasn’t worth it was definitely during this basketball season. It was during one of our early practices, and we were just not having a great day. Everyone was working hard, but we were turning the ball over, missing easy layups, etc. This was also during our preseason, where we lost most of our games and were struggling to find an identity as a team. I ended up snapping at a couple of my teammates, just out of frustration. However, this was not the right method of expressing my emotions. Our coach always stresses that we need to focus on the process, not the outcome. Practice is for working hard to get better, so we aren’t going to make every shot and do everything perfectly all the time. It’s a time meant for mistakes. After losing my shit, I felt both guilty and angry at myself for doing that, because I had always been one to be supportive towards my teammates. This time though, the combination of my personal stress outside of basketball and our rough start to the season made me snap, and looking back I wish I didn’t. If I didn’t sweat the small stuff and accepted that mistakes happen in practice, I would not have yelled at my teammates.
Chapter 31 - Become Aware of Your Moods & Don't Allow Yourself to Be Fooled by the Low Ones
Q: Explain a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. Vice Versa, explain a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day you had.
A: A time I was in a bad mood was when I was extremely overwhelmed with college applications and finals at the end of the first semester. This was a time where everything just came together at once and I felt the most stressed I ever had. Dealing with basketball, college apps, and finals for 5 AP classes made me have one particularly bad day, where I simply tuned out everyone who tried to talk to me about anything. When I got home from school that day, I felt angry at myself for essentially wasting my time at school and making the situation worse by keeping to myself the entire day. A time where I was in a great mood was recently, right after we finished up Winterfest. That event was much more stressful than I had previously anticipated, so the Monday we came back to school after the event was one of the best Monday’s I’ve ever had. I felt accomplished, productive, and generally happy with myself throughout the day, leading to better overall health throughout the week.
A: A time I was in a bad mood was when I was extremely overwhelmed with college applications and finals at the end of the first semester. This was a time where everything just came together at once and I felt the most stressed I ever had. Dealing with basketball, college apps, and finals for 5 AP classes made me have one particularly bad day, where I simply tuned out everyone who tried to talk to me about anything. When I got home from school that day, I felt angry at myself for essentially wasting my time at school and making the situation worse by keeping to myself the entire day. A time where I was in a great mood was recently, right after we finished up Winterfest. That event was much more stressful than I had previously anticipated, so the Monday we came back to school after the event was one of the best Monday’s I’ve ever had. I felt accomplished, productive, and generally happy with myself throughout the day, leading to better overall health throughout the week.
Chapter 32 - Life Is a Test. It is Only a Test.
Q: “As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with” right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it?
A: I can apply this idea to track. Every time that I have a race that I am stressed out about, I could think about it more as a chance to grow and improve and test myself rather than something that I absolutely have to be perfect at. For example, my very first race this year in the 110 meter hurdles was not a good one. At the time, I got super down on myself and saw this failure as a representation of how my season would go. However, if I had seen this as a test rather than something I absolutely had to succeed at, I would have had a much better mindset. At this point in the season, I have improved drastically, and hope to continue seeing each race as a test to get a more positive mindset in this sport.
A: I can apply this idea to track. Every time that I have a race that I am stressed out about, I could think about it more as a chance to grow and improve and test myself rather than something that I absolutely have to be perfect at. For example, my very first race this year in the 110 meter hurdles was not a good one. At the time, I got super down on myself and saw this failure as a representation of how my season would go. However, if I had seen this as a test rather than something I absolutely had to succeed at, I would have had a much better mindset. At this point in the season, I have improved drastically, and hope to continue seeing each race as a test to get a more positive mindset in this sport.
Chapter 33 - Praise & Blame Are All the Same
Q: You will not please everyone…how does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive?
A: This statement sits with me as something that I do understand and accept as true, but still wish that it wasn’t true because it is so hard to make some people happy at the expense of others. Being a super busy and non-confrontational person, I have always found it hard to please everyone because it’s impossible for me to be in 2 places at once. Being a part of Leadership, Basketball, Track, many clubs, etc has been great, but it also means I have a lot of people that I want to please and not enough time to do so. My personality also just does not allow me to confront people in a way that makes them mad at me, so this is why I struggle with being a people pleaser. I want to become better at this and accept that I can’t please everyone, but it is still definitely a work in progress.
Chapter 34 - Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Q: Describe a time when you completed RAK and how did it make you feel?
A: A time that I completed a random act of kindness was when I helped create the valentine hearts through this program. I think that my freshman year might have been the first time that we had ever done the hearts at Ripon High, and it ended up being a huge success. I heard so many people talking about how excited and happy they were to get a heart with a positive message, since it was so unexpected. I remember seeing a massive crowd of people surrounding the hearts trying to find their name, and it was so surprising and heartwarming to see. It made me feel super happy, knowing that I made someone else’s day much better and contributed to something that made a positive impact at the high school.
A: A time that I completed a random act of kindness was when I helped create the valentine hearts through this program. I think that my freshman year might have been the first time that we had ever done the hearts at Ripon High, and it ended up being a huge success. I heard so many people talking about how excited and happy they were to get a heart with a positive message, since it was so unexpected. I remember seeing a massive crowd of people surrounding the hearts trying to find their name, and it was so surprising and heartwarming to see. It made me feel super happy, knowing that I made someone else’s day much better and contributed to something that made a positive impact at the high school.